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Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and dating expert at gay-Parship, advises a 20-year-old man who wants to move in with his partner but his partner does not feel ready.

My son, who is now 31, is gay.  I’ve known for many years as he came out to me when he was still at school in the mid-90s.  I’ve always said that I don’t care that he’s gay, all that matters is happiness, and I still stand by that. 

To my complete shame however, when I found out he was gay, I thought it best we didn’t tell his father.  To this day he is still none the wiser.  Then last week my son called to say he is getting married to his long-term partner.  Of course I’ve very happy for him but this raises the question how do I tell his father?

I really don’t know how to tell him.  If I hadn’t treated it as a guilty secret I wouldn’t be in this position, but my husband is so old-fashioned and religious I know he will take it badly. Some advice would be much appreciated how to break the news.